I forgot to write about this last week.
My friend Paul booked a night away in a hotel for my birthday which is this Friday. To be honest i was quite nervous about this. We have known each other for at least three years. We have never plucked up the courage to ask each other out though even though we clearly have feelings for each other. I found it hard to go with the flow with him so was worried in case the conversation dried up with him. But i decided to give it a go and kept giving myself a pep talk and told myself to go with the flow.
So we went down to Portrush at about 11 o’clock. When we got there we went for a bit of a walk and let Ushi have a run on the beach. We didn’t stay too long there as we weren’t too sure if there was still the dog bann on the beach. We couldn’t check in until 4 o’clock so we just had to hang around until that time. I was just expecting a bog standard hotel, not the Ramada of all places! It was massive. We got taken up to our rooms and the receptionist showed me the room as well as making sure i could get in and out of the bath and all. She showed me how the shower worked and said that if i had any problems i was to give her a call. I was then left to my own devices and connected up to the wifi. (The important thing of course lol).
The room was much bigger than a hotel room i’ve ever seen. Ushi could sprawl at one side whilst i was at the other. There were two beds in it plus all the other essentials like a tv abd such.
We chilled in our rooms for a while and Paul came up and we just talked for a while. We then went off to get ready. We decided to go out for a meal as it was only our bed and breakfast that were encluded in the package. I decided to wear my fancy stuff which is only reserved for the likes of formal stuff. I wore a black blouse, black trousers, black shoes and little pop socks. I say little, but they went right up my thigh. I don’t think they are meant to, it’s just my feet are so small lol.
We stopped off for a quick relief for Ushi as there was grass across the road, and headed off in to the town. We didn’t really know where to go but eventually went to this place called the Harbour bar. It was quite an old bar. You had to go down some steps to get to it. This was only the outer bit. The inner bit, when you eventually got to it was packed to the rafters. I’m surprised we gota table to be honest. Although i did think it was a bingo hall when we went in though as they were calling out numbers lots. We got seated and then Paul went up to order.
I had chicken goujons and chips. We had a strawbery moose afterwards. It was nice but i don’t think you’d have it all the time. It was so so sweet. I can be funny about strawbery things as sometimes the strawbery can be so over powering but this was nice apart from how sweet it was. It was actually quite easy to eat out of a presentation glass and they can be quite hard to eat out of.
We headed back to the hotel very full and satisified. It was so nice to do something different.
I fed Ushi when we got back to the room. Paul didn’t want me going out to spend Ushi on my own as it was quite late, so i asked one of the receptionists to help take me out to the grass. The grass is across the road which is kind of busy, and then it was down this kind of path. The receptionist was only too glad to help. The only bad thing was Ushi did a poo and the woman was three months pregnant so that nearly ended up a bad end. But i picked it up and she was grand. The receptionist then left me up to my room, or at least the lift again. I was surprised at how easy it was to get around the hotel and that which was good. We were on the first floor too which was good.
We spent the night chilling with Paul watching tv and talking away. At one point i was pouring him a cup of tea and thought we had sugar in the little holder with the teas and stuff. I knew it wasn’t sugar when i poured it. It was coffee lol. But bless Pauls heart, he was going to drink it anyway. So i told him that if it was really disgusting he didn’t have to drink it. Thankfully he didn’t and eventually emptied it down the sink. The pearals of being blind sometimes lol.
On Friday after a lovely shower and top class food in the restaurant, we were going to head up to Bellereena to do some gliding, but they kept telling Paul to ring back each day. One day they even told him that we would need bikes to travel up. Someone told us we needed to book and someone said we didn’t. The icing on the cake though was when paul rang and they didn’t even bother answering their phones. So our plans for the day were scuppered a little. We decided to go to Derry for the day instead. It was a bit of a hassle getting into the centre of derry though as Paul said that the bridge couldn’t be walked on. I remember being able to walk it a few years ago and you could walk by the river. It didn’t seem to be the case this time though. Luckily there was a bus in though. We were going to get food but there was nowhere except pubs we could find. Paul didn’t want to take me in to any pubs though because he didn’t want to go in to the wrong pub if you know what i mean. So we just headed back home.
I would like to thank Paul so much. I was so pleased and greatful that he did this for me. I had a sneak at the prices for one night and was totally blown away. I was so greatful. I wouldn’t like to be spoilt all the time like that but i thought it was so nice of him. We haven’t really got any further but i could go with the flow more and we carried on a bit which was good. It’s just scary and we don’t know what way to go from here. I guess we’ll just see what happens. It’s my first serious relationship so we’re both nervous. It was so nice to get away and i think we both needed it. So thanks again Paul. Maybe someday we’ll admit our feelings for each other.>
I meant to write this the other day but then yesterdays post had to be written.
Last Monday i think it was, my friend got an email with the words snow patrol in the subject. Snow Patrol had given Guide dogs along with 16 other charities tickets to their gig at
On the Thursday. Their only condition was that we had to be volunteers and give a donation to the charity. So me and my friend decided we’d go. We weren’t huge fans of Snow patrol but we had nothing else on and we just thought we’d go for the experience. We just had to email and say “I want these tickets” and we’d be in with a chance. We got an email the next day saying that we had the tickets which was class. I went to pick them up on Wednesday. What a palava that was. But that’s for another time.
On wednesday night we emailed the people at
And told them that we were blind. However they only got back to us before we left on Thursday.
I phoned a local taxi company on the thursday and explained that we were two blind people going on our own and that traffic was being restricted in to the boucher road playing fields where the concert was being held. The taxi company then rang me back and we were given the best treatment. We were not only taken to the venue, but we were taken over to the security where we were asked if we would like to sit on the disabled viewing platform. I never would have used this as i never thought i needed it and i always felt we could sit anywhere. But i’m glad i took up the offer to sit there. We weren’t right in the middle so it wasn’t as loud although you still knew you were at a concert. We had plenty of leg room too.
Snow patrol weren’t on til 9 o’clock so we got to listen to Foy Vance which for some reason rings a bell even though i’ve never heard of them, and a band from down south called Quarter line or that was what it sounded like. They were good and it passed the evening quite well.
Snow patrol were amazing. They just enjoyed the craic and got in with the crowd letting them sing along to all the songs and not caring. It was brilliant. One song he dedicated to his dad too which was lovely.
The whole buzz of the night was great and even the food was very grand, and expensive! Festivals like this certainly bring in the money anyway. Unfortunately we had to wear these horrible paunchows which looked like bin bags shaped like coats as it totally chucked it down. I did feel sorry for the two ladies behind us who got totally drenched though. But as Snow Patrol said “You all came out even though it was pissing wet”. I loved that one.
When we left the crowd were cleared before we headed out. The police waited for us until our taxi came which was brilliant. Everyone couldn’t have been more helpful. We also found out about a scheme the oddisy do which is if you tell them you need an essential carer they get a free ticket to accompany you. So that’s worth bearing in mind i suppose not that i’d use it all the time. But still good to know.
I would like to thank Snow Patrol for doing what they did with the tickets and also to the tennants vital security and the taxi company.
Our girls stayed at home while we went and we had our canes for company.
It was a really good experience and i’m glad i went.
Sometimes you don’t know you are doing something, or just how bad it is until someone points it out to you. That moment came very hard for me today. Very hard indeed.
Over the past while i’ve noticed i’ve become quite sloppy with a few things. I’d say that i wanted to volunteer for an event then over sleep. Or i’d say i wanted to do an event then miss the train. It wasn’t just with guide dogs either. I did it a couple of times with Angel eyes things and also even when i was meeting my friend i would turn up late, or not get up in time. This was the most important part. I’d stay awake talking to my friend or doing other stuff until all hours and then i’d not be able to get up for things. When i’d get to whatever it was that i had volunteered for i’d stay all day, but the main problem was the fact things were in the morning. I could blame it on all sorts: the bus was late. We missed the train. I had a headache. I didn’t sleep. I overslept. The list goes on. Sometimes it was things like the bus was late or the taxi one time not taking me to the platform so i missed the train, but the others were just down to plane laziness and that was all there was to it.
Today was particularly bad. My friend had spent the weekend at my home since my mum and that were away. So me my friend and my sister spent the weekend together. The craic was brilliant, but unfortunately on Saturday night we spent a lot of time talking. We just didn’t feel tired. So we had very little sleep. I now realise that what i did was totally wrong and i shouldn’t have even thought of doing this. A volunteer driver was going to meet us to take us to a truck festival where we had a guide dogs collection. I sent a text asking if we could get a later train. I was told that no that couldn’t happen so i said i’d get up and get the 9 o’clock train. This was very very foolish i admit now. Anyway we met the driver and got taken to the place.
We were just busy chatting away when we both got a lecture. It was such a shock. We were basically told that we can’t start messing people about. We were told that if we arrange to do something we stick to it and don’t decide that morning to say that we can’t do it unless there is a valid reason. I just said that yes we had become sloppy and that we would try to stick to what we decided and try to get to bed earlier. I said that we would try to make it not happen again. To be honest i felt like crying. I was just so shocked. But what we were told rang true. At the end of the day we are adults. We need to take responsibility for our actions. Otherwise we wouldn’t be asked to go to things. Me and my friend wouldn’t want that.
So from now on if i’m going to go to something, i am going to buck up and go even if i don’t sleep that well. I wouldn’t like it if the shoe was on the other foot so i can’t really expect others to like it. The thing was i didn’t realise how much i was slacking on volunteering and other things until this point was made. I deffinetly think i needed to hear it though. At the end of the day if i was working or studdying i couldn’t get away with that, so why should i be allowed to get away with it in my other commitments.
I feel dreadful for how i have been over the past couple of months. I don’t know what was wrong. I just got in to a very very lazy slump. Not that anything was wrong other than pure laziness and late nights talking.
Sometimes you don’t know how much messing around affects other things until it hits you.
I don’t really know why i wrote this but sometimes you just need to admit that you were wrong and you have to realise actions have consequences. The last thing i want to do is cause problems for people, or even lose things that i enjoy or even friends because of being messed around too much.
I think that’s my ramble over. I’m not looking for a lecture in the comments or anything, i’m just basically writing that you have to realise that what you do has consequences. Maybe writing this will give me the motivation to actually buck up a bit and take my friendships and most importantly my voluntary roles very seriously indeed.
I think that’s all for now. Sorry for the ramble.
I’m back up in belfast yet again. I seem to be constantly up here. Not that that is a bad thing.
Recently my friend has been offered a two bedroom flat with the housing association. My friend has been dr/opping hints that i should move in. The flat is lovely and i’ve been helping get some of the stuff for it and that kind of thing. There is a garriage near buy, in fact it’s a hop really over to the garriage from the flats. Not that i don’t mind but i would rather have a bit of a walk as i like walking and it gets the dog out and that kind of thing. But on further on there are other shops so i suppose we could go further if we were taking the dogs. It isn’t a bad thing of course having the garriage so close but i like a walk to get to things because it means the dog isn’t going to get bored and that kind of thing. It’s not in a too busy part of town either which is good.
I really like Ballymena and there are some nice walks we can do. Plus i have all the stuff i do in ballymena anyway. I like it in the part of belfast that my friend is too and i like that we’re constantly doing things. The only thing i don’t like is that there isn’t walks that we have discovered just as circular routes. But i’m sure we could find something.
Of course i would continue to do all the things i do in ballymena as it’s only a 45 minute train ride roughly from belfast to ballymena. I do have my family though in ballymena. It would be more for my little brothers benifit that i would stay as he does get quite lonely and he has taken a real bond to us. I suppose my sister would be there but i’d hate to miss him growing up. I know that sounds corny though. I know he isn’t really our responsibility and i know i’m more fond of the 10 year old that the 4 year old but i guess i can’t change that. I guess if i did move up i could pop down to see him or whatever i fancied doing.
I would like to keep staying at the same doctors as i hardly ever have to go plus i like the doctors i’m with at the minute. But i would probably have to register with a new doctor. Then there is the vets. I really would like to pop down to the vets every three months for her worming and front line and her six monthly check ups, but what happens if she needs the vet in an imergency? Do i go to ballymena or do i register in a surgery closer? Then there is the likes of aftercare. Do i head to ballymena and stay over and do it the next day or do i get them to come to belfast?
I hope that if i did move that i wouldn’t lose friends that i have in ballymena, not that i have many but i wouldn’t want people to think i wasn’t friends with them or anything just because i moved to belfast. Not that they would or i would hope they wouldn’t.
My friend here wanted to do a lot of things together which isn’t a problem, but i told her that sometimes i’d like to do thing on my own and she agreed which was a huge relief. I’d still be a member of the branch of guide dogs because it’s a good branch and as i’ve said it’s really not that hard to hop on a train, now that i have the confidence to do it. It’s actually thanks to my friend here in belfast that i have that confidence and i’m greatful for that more than she will ever know.
I’ve really enjoyed cooking more here, yes it’s only been the microwave but that’s still something. I have even enjoyed simple things like getting electric and being able to key it in to the keypad which is good. The simple things please me lol. But it really is good being self sufficient.
My friend is great but i’d just be scared that i wouldn’t like it if i moved in with her. I have stayed for weeks at a time here but i would just be scared that i wouldn’t enjoy it as much if i was moving in with her.
I’m probably just worrying for nothing though knowing me. I just wanted to get everything out there and written on paper if you like. I’m going to go now because i think i’ve said all i’ve said and i would probably ramble. So i think it would be a good place to stop. I just needed to write down my thoughts.