This will probably be a very disjointed post, but i need to write it down. I’d rather it was public too as there is just too much to just splurge in a text document.
A few years ago i had to lose touch with some very dear school friends. One i was forced to because she started making some very nasty accusations against me saying that basically because i was helpful and gave her some advice, i must have been abused as a child. (Very long story, but i was never abused and was so horrified someone i knew or at least thought i knew could make such a horrible accusation, through email.). I was extremely upset during that time, and had to make a clean break. I thought it better to break with a couple of other friends too then. Thankfully the story with them wasn’t nearly as bad but still was very upsetting.
Basically what happened was that when i used to go over to their house for a few days, they were very reluctant to drop me home again, even though i had made several attempts to let them know, or rather their mother know. The last straw was however one day when i did have to be home for an appointment the next day. I had said to them in the morning that i needed to be home. They said that was grand. I then got told that afternoon that my mum had said i could stay and didn’t need to be home. Rather the mother had texted my mum and then said i didn’t need to be home. I was very suspicious and texted my mum to see if that had happened. It hadn’t. I was so very annoyed. I didn’t like being lied to like that, considering the fact i was 18 at the time.
So each time after that they wanted me up, i made my excuses. I finally just stopped all contact with them as i was so so annoyed. I would run into them occasionally and it was still the same carry on of when i was next coming over.
I even kept getting facebook messages from one of them who couldn’t understand why we hadn’t been friends any more. I know it was their mother mainly, but the girls were adults too. The friend requests kept coming on facebook from one of them, as well as the messagees with frankly attrotious spelling. She couldn’t even spell my name right and she was older than me! So they kept being ignored by me as i just didn’t need it, and i eventually had to block her name from coming up.
So she then started messaging my mum, who, like a fool replied. She has kept in regular contact with one of them in particular and thought that because we used to be friends then she had the right to be friends too. There was nothing for a while, but mum came in and told me something that is very troubling.
She told me that she had messaged again asking about why we weren’t friends. (About three years after the fact). Mum then makes up this bull about how it would be great if you stayed friends, but sometimes you drift apart and lives go their separate ways. The friend then said about how she had lost a baby three months ago and that she had know one else to turn to and that she had to tell mum. She claims she couldn’t tell her mum which knowing the mother is highly possible, but i think that it is a little weird that she has absolutely know one else to turn to. Mum was quite shocked at my reaction, but i just feel that this is her way of trying to get to be friends again. I said to her to be careful and she said that it is no big deal. Yes it is! Fair enough if she has lost a baby, that’s awful, but there was a reason i cut them out of my life. I didn’t want anything to do with them. I needed to make a clean break. Have nothing to do with them at all. The girl claims that only her boyfriend and the hospital know.
I am just very suspicious. I mean why now? I said something like if she was more careful, and i know that might have been harsh, but this friend wasn’t what you’d call the brightest. She wouldn’t have thought things through that well etc. I personally think mum is getting involved in a bad situation and should be very careful. I for one am not becoming friends again! I don’t want to be guilt tripped into it either. Mum has no business being involved, or still talking to the person i think.
Part of me feels really guilty and that i should care, but a bigger part says that if i do get involved, i’ll very quickly fall into the same trap, and i can’t be dealing with that now. As i’ve said i broke the friendship off for a reason, and because i was very cut up about the other friend i mentioned that made the accusations.
I wouldn’t normally write this, but i just felt in a bit of a mess. I thought i’d write it out to get it straight, and to make sure i’m not feeling heartless! I just wish mum wasn’t still trying to be friends with her. At the end of the day she is an adult, so she has to face horrible decisions. I just think there must have been someone she could have talked to. Her sister for one, who accepted the fact i wasn’t friends and left it at that, there is her boyfriend, there are her aunts and that she got on with, there is probably counscillors she could have talked to i’m sure. Yes i’m sure losing a baby is horrible, but if she had carried the baby to term how would she have explained then to her mother if she knew she would go mad or whatever? So maybe in a way it was a good thing it happened if she had know one to talk to.
Maybe i am being heartless, but these things stay in the past for a reason. Not to be raked up again.
I suppose i’d better close this before i start repeating myself or dig myself into a whole. But i just don’t know why mum is still friends! Is my reaction horrible?
I wouldn’t normally write this but i just had to get my thoughts in order, and think it should be out there rather than me writing it and deleting it.
Sorry if this has upset anyone, but it is just my oppinion, and i am truly sorry if someone reading has lost a baby. But it just seems strange now she comes looking for support.
I just had to get that out there, and sorry if it doesn’t make sense. And really i am sorry if this has upset people. I just had to get my thoughts in order.