A Difficult Day

Today we went up to my uncles house to get a few things as i had mentioned in my last post. I really was not looking forward to it at all.

First of all though, i went to my art class i have on a Thursday morning. That was good as usual. I can’t wait to learn the route to the community centre where it’s held though as it’s only a 20 minute walk away.

I then went in to town and met my dad and sis. We were going to get the bus up to my uncles, but i suggested that we walk up as it would probably do us all good and it would be a good walk for Ushi. It took us about 40 minutes which wasn’t too bad.

When we entered the house, we went straight upstairs because there were some not nice stains and flies and such downstairs. We didn’t really want Ushi sniffing around either. Even though the place was fumigated, the carpets or anything weren’t lifted, which wasn’t that nice to see i’m sure. It may have been just stains, but we didn’t want to take that risk.

Thankfully my aunt had cleared out the fridge and such and turned off the electric which was good. His Gas was also turned off too.

There was a big 15 kilo bag of Ushi’s old food which i got before i switched her to the burns and never got rid of it. It was in an airtight container, but dad said it probably wouldn’t be good going to anyone else. It’s a shame really as it’s just a waist otherwise.

Unfortunately i was not in good form when dad and my sister were clearing out things as i couldn’t actually do anything. I hate resting on my lorrals and feeling like a spare part. I know there wasn’t much i could do, but it was a bit boring just sitting there while everyone else did things. I’ve always hated being a spare part though. I told myself to wise up though and not be so selfish.

When we left, and were walking back in to town, i started to cheer up again. We walked around town for a bit before heading to get the train back to Ballymena. Dad found some pictures of us as kids that he gave to mum to keep which she appreciated. Dad found an old braille slate and cards explaining the contractions for braille. I asked mum about it and apparently my uncle had asked mum for it so he could braille out christmas cards to me. That was something he kept quiet. Sweet though.

So it was a difficult day for all of us. My dad said it wasn’t pleasant at all looking through his things and that. I’ve said that i will stay at home if anything else needs done, not because i’m heartless, but because there really is no point me being there.

Again i’m just so thankful that we didn’t find him. I think i will always be greatful that i wasn’t with him at the time when it happened.

Off to bed for me shortly. It’s been a long day.

Squaring Things Away

So my uncle has been dead now for about 2 months now. It’s hard to believe. When i want to tell him things, i know i can’t now. Thankfully though, it wasn’t due to his bipollar or anything at all. He had had a massive heart attack which couldn’t have been prevented. It was a genettic condition he had. My granda died the very same way too, and it can be traced right back in mums side of the family. It only affected males though.

Unfortunately he had lay in the house for a few weeks, so the house needed to be fumigated by a specialist team. I am so thankful that we didn’t find him though. Or that we weren’t up at the house when it happened. It sends shivers up my spine to think what would have happened if i had been alone with him when it happened, for example.

Tomorrow my sister, dad and i are going up to the house to take some of our stuff we had left at his over the months. We may take some more things, depending what is in good condition to keep. Me and my sister have been generously left the house by my uncle which was such a nice thought. We haven’t decided what we’ll do with it yet though.

I’m kind of dreading going up to be honest. I know it is ours now, but it seems weird rummaging round his house. It kind of brings it home too. I wasn’t really affected by his death, but i did think of him a lot. But going up to what was his house will deffinetly bring it home alright. We don’t even know what state the house will be in. It’ll probably be freezing.

I hope we don’t spend too long there to be honest as i only have a couple things to grab and i don’t know, but i’m kind of weirded out about the whole thing.

I’m just going to treat the house as if it’s just an empty house, otherwise we won’t want to go in to it at all. I just felt a need to get my feelings out on to paper as it were.

So once again, rip Uncle Stephen, and thank you for all you did for us. You were totally great. I do miss texting you. I often think about when you phoned me to explain why you couldn’t text and that you had a weird illness. I think of the last texts i sent you when i said about you going to stay with Granny. Sorry i doubted in my head that you couldn’t because you couldn’t travel. I hope you’re happy where ever you are..